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Money Rant

How frustrating, to see people with their hands out, when there is no reason for them to be in that ‘place’. Now you are all probably formulating your reply to me about circumstances and things out of one’s control etc. And where is my compassion for the homeless and the hungry. This is not what I am writing about. I am referring to people who sit in the passenger seat of life and expect everyone else to make it happen for them. You just can’t do that. Every day you need to make forward movements – make wise decisions about money, work, children, and all aspects of your life.

“You can’t just sit back and let the rest of the world take care of life for you,” says Cynthia Yates. “You’ve got to roll up your sleeves. If you’ve never stood on your own two feet, now’s the time. People will help you. There are resources out there, but you’re going to have to take that first step.”

Stop being irresponsible. Stop spending your money foolishly. You have a responsibility to be wise about financial decisions and to move in the right direction. I have had to step back from helping some friends who were constantly in dire straits. By me always be able to help them, I was enabling their behaviour. So, I have had to watch them take a walk down a wrong path and suffer the consequences of their own wilfulness. It is hard, to constantly give sound advice (when asked for) and watch it being disregarded because it would not fulfil their need for instant gratification. They get their short lived buzz from whatever it was they spent the money on. But then they realise they have no money to buy even bread or milk, or money for the bus, petrol for the car, pay their electric bill, etc, etc… They then move into panic and the thing that brought them such joy is forgotten in the midst of their self induced anxiety.

These are the people who frustrate me. Constantly living in debt, due to a succession of unwise decisions based on selfish wants, borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. It is not an easy thing to get out of debt, but it can be done. And it takes time, and it takes planning. But if you truly are committed to your dream of a better life and not having so much worry in your life, then you will make a commitment to being proactive about your own life and those that you are responsible for. I think it is even worse when I see these adults acting like a 3 yr old demanding candy and their actions then adversely affect their children. Grow up people. Stop being immature and irresponsible. We can’t afford your behaviour, and so it would seem, neither can you.

I certainly am being far more discriminate these days as to whose hand I fill with my hard earned money. And I encourage everyone to take a look at where you hand your money out. What is the cause for the need? Genuine need? – fill that hand up. Stupidity compounded by irresponsibility…? – as hard as it is, deny them. Make them face their own consequences. We can hope and pray that if they aren’t always bailed out, then they make positive steps towards changing this destructive behaviour. Meanwhile you can put your funds to be better use.

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Pun-tastic

I’m back – been afk in a major way – job demands 😦

But I wanted to share a laugh with you – some of these are just terrible! But you will find yourself laughing anyways 😉  Please join in the pun-fun, leave me a comment with your worst/best pun.

 

 Changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

 

When chemists die, they barium.

 

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

 

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

 

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

 

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

 

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

 

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

 

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

 

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

 

Why were the Indians in the USA first? They had reservations

 

We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no Pop quiz.

 

I didn’t like my beard at first then it grew on me.

 

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

 

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble…

 

Broken pencils are pointless.

 

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

 

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

 

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

 

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

 

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

 

All the toilets in Queensland police stations have been stolen.   The police have nothing to go on.

 

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

 

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

 

Velcro: what a rip off!

 

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

 

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

 

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.

no more rising!

The Sunne Rising, by John Donne
                                  ~*~
                Busie old foole, unruly Sunne,
               Why dost thou thus,
Through windowes, and through curtaines call on us?
Must to thy motions lovers seasons run?
               Sawcy pedantique wretch, goe chide
               Late schoole boyes and sowre prentices,
         Goe tell Court-huntsmen that the King will ride,
         Call countrey ants to harvest offices;
Love, all alike, no season knowes nor clyme,
Nor hours, dayes, moneths, which are the rags of time.
                                ~*~
               Thy beames, so reverend and strong
               Why shouldst thou thinke?
I could eclipse and cloud them with a winke,
But that I would not lose her sight so long;
               If her eyes have not blinded thine,
               Look, and to morrow late, tell mee,
         Whether both the’ Indias of spice and Myne
         Be where thou leftst them, or lie here with mee.
Ask for those Kings whom thou saw’st yesterday,
And thou shalt heare, All here in one bed lay.
                            ~*~
               She’is all States, and all Princes, I,
               Nothing else is.
Princes doe but play us; compar’d to this,
All honor’s mimique, all wealth alchemie.
               Thou, sunne, art halfe as happy’as wee,
               In that the world’s contracted thus.
         Thine age askes ease, and since thy duties bee
         To warme the world, that’s done in warming us.
Shine here to us, and thou art every where;
This bed thy center is, these walls, thy spheare.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My minor when I did my degree, was English Lit.  And I was reading another bloggers post today about poetry.  It reminded me of my favourite Poets and poetry in general.  The above is one of them – a favourite poet that is, and my fave poem by him.  I won’t bore you with the biography of John Donne, but trust me, you are very close to getting a brief run down 😉
~*~*~*~
I posted this poem today to share with you the brilliance of it, but also, because recently it has taken on another meaning to me, a personal meaning.  The poet is angry at the sunne for rising – as he and his lover have to part ways at the rising of it.
 ~*~*~*~
My personal meaning is not to do with lovers, but it is to do with love.  My Oma (grandmother) is dying.  Has been for some time. It is to be expected when one reaches advanced age, that death follows close behind.  Yesterday I spent the day with her.  Time is a luxury.  The doctors are at the point where there is nothing to be done anymore, except to make her comfortable.  I won’t go into what’s wrong with her, as the list is so very long.  They tell us that she could go any day now.  As I sat next to her yesterday and talked to her of anything and everything, she would pass in and out of consciousness.  It was hard to keep the tears at bay as I watched her chest rise and fall laboriously, the pain written all over her face.  She was at peace with life and at peace with where she was on her journey through life.
 ~*~*~*~
I could logically accept all that was happening.  That she was seriously ill, that she was going to die.  And the dying would bring her a release from the pain that plagued her. She was not experiencing quality of life.  She was existing.  But in my heart I cried out STOP! Do not let the sunne set, for I don’t think she can take another sunne rising!  She took my hand, and pulled me down to her and kissed my cheek.  She told me it was good to see me, that she loved me.  Looking into her eyes, I thought of how selfish I was to wish to keep her here on this earth.
  ~*~*~*~
By the time I left her side that afternoon, I had come to a place of peace.  I still do not wish to lose her physical presence from this world.  But she is firmly planted in my heart, has been since as long as I can remember.  She is my last grandparent, having lost Opa 12 years ago, and my Grandma and Grandpop 3 years ago (my Grandpop passed 7 weeks after my Grandma, a broken heart stealing him back to her.).  None of my grandparents are truly lost to me.  Their love for me is evident in my life.  Though my children will never know what it is to be hugged by them, spoilt by them. they will know them.
 ~*~*~*~
So let the sunne rise.  Warm the world, warm me. Shine here.
 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(if you would like to see more of Donne’s work, go here: http://www.online-literature.com/donne/  Most works have been modernised in spelling, which I find annoying.  This book Seven Centuries of Poetry in English is a brilliant resource & has work in its original spellings etc: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Seven-Centuries-Poetry-English-Leonard/dp/0195514203)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sun Rising - Niagara Falls, N.Y.

Sun Rising - Niagara Falls, N.Y. - taken Sept. 2011

So, Miss I’m So Awesome, I Have  A Plan woke up and discovered she could not move.  Not a ‘I don’t feel like it‘ can’t move.  But ‘OMG am I dying?!’ can’t move.  Turns out I had slept very well and pinched my sciatica.  Pain was centralised in the hip region with shooting kill me now pain going down my leg & up through my back.  Sadly this is not my first experience, so with my beloved iphone at hand, I called in the calvary.  Finally stretched and limbered enough to be able to unfold from my fetal sleep position, it was straight into the shower for some heat relief.  As I started to feel the sharp edge fade, I remembered I had a dentist appointment that morning. Let’s face it – I’m not scared of the dentist, heck I was a dental receptionist at one point of my life, so all those scary things have been demystified for me.  But, no-one ever likes going to the dentist.

Shower, Dencorub, heat packs and coffee – I was now safely ensconced downstairs in a chair with my frown on.  Three days of The Plan and I was then thwarted by my own body.  It felt so damn traitorous!

So, with the pain much reduce -thank you Mersyndol, I toddled off to the dentist.  I was a tad bit worried, as I hadn’t had a check-up or clean for over a year (I had been living in USA and, well, it’s just not cheap over there, so I waited until I came home).  Add to that, I hadn’t been very diligent with the flossing, which apparently is very important.  HOWEVER!  The dentist told me that I had very good teeth.  He wished more patients had teeth like me.  I need a fissure seal on one tooth (to be done next weeks) & a bit of a scale & clean, which they did straight away.  And he finished off with telling me – “I’m a good girl.”  YAY for me.  Baby, you can bet your bottom dollar I am gonna use that for all it is worth.  I’m a good girl.  Yep.  I don’t care what any of y’all say – I’m a good girl.  Sigh, yes, being over, hrm, ummm… 30 (shhhh!) and being called girl from someone who was my own age was a lil bit condescending, but I’ll take what I can get.

Anyways, it’s 10.30pm and my bed is calling me – it’s tough being a good girl in a heck of lotta pain.  So another Mersyndol, a prayer asking no more nasty wake-ups and it’s off to bed.   Hoping to be able to get back out on the road again tomorrow.  OH!  Going to the dentist – another thing crossed off my list of things I Must Accomplish.  See – good girl 😉

“It’s unfair and unrealistic to expect that there is a man or a woman out there who can please you forever or fulfill your heart,” says Rob Eagar.

 

Humans are imperfect. We are flawed, and we do not have the ability to fulfill another person.

 

It is not until I had everything stripped away from me that I could see who I was, what I had been molded into.  I did not like it.  The trials I had faced as a child, teenager and later as an adult, had created a strength in me, endurance beyond what one should or could be expected to have.  There were other qualities that were “good”.  But there was much damage.  I had placed my trust in the hands of my husband, thinking he would fulfill all my hopes and dreams.  Right all the wrongs that had been done to me.  Little did I know that I had chosen someone skilled enough to continue the nightmare I had been living.

 

Every girl/woman I have ever met desires their own personal fairytale.  I had come to believe that it is exactly that – a fairytale.  The last few years have been almost as painful as the years preceding.  But the night I broke my bondage did not set me completely free.  There were wounds, old and deep that needed healing.  And though I had broken the chains, I still carried them with me.  I had to know who I was and make a decision as to who I wanted to be.  I realised that no man (or woman) could possibly fulfill my needs.  I had to find my own peace, my own satisfaction.  None could do it for me.  It was my own path to walk.  Each step guided by my own choice.  What a terrifying path to walk.  I had those who would walk beside me as support.  Some reached out to control me.  And those who tried, I had to learn how to tell them no.  I had to learn how to set my boundaries without building a wall that kept everyone from me.  Not all words are “evil”.  Some are offered in loving guidance.  It is a spirit of discernment I prayed for – to understand that which was about me and to be able to weigh the words and actions that were offered to me.

 

Now I am such a long way down the path. I have some pride in how boldly I step out these days.  I still know that no one can complete me, as I am complete on my own.  But I do know that there is a mate, a life companion that would walk with me.  The journey is more pleasant with them by my side.  I don’t have the fairytale.  And I expect that life will continue to be less than perfect – but I’m at peace with that.

train tracks at Lawrenceville, GA, near Maddox St

what a day!

Wow! What a day – awesome.

I managed to stick to my plan.  The alarm went off and after a brief ‘I can’t do this‘ moan for about 2 mins, I flung back the blankets & dragged myself from the bed.  Off I went – running shoes, high viz wear & my beloved iphone.  Music cranked loud, I set out at a decent pace.  I was surprised, no huffing and puffing – though there was some lactic burn going on :/  I managed 3.38 km (2.1 mi) in 32 mins.  I’ll never get back to my marathon running times, as injuries prevent me from being able to run any real distance.  So I will settle for power walking and be happy.  I don’t have to run to be fit – but I do miss being able to pound out the beat of the music, with my feet, ‘flying’ along the roads, scenery ‘flashing’ past.  I got home feeling the most energised that I have for the longest time – though rather sweaty, did not like having to wait for the shower – grrr.

I got TWO! things on my Must Accomplish list done – so feeling slightly smug.  Then when I was checking my email, I saw one of the books I had been waiting on had finally come in.  Yes!  I quite like Elizabeth Moon and I had been waiting for book 3 to come – I just had to know that Paksenarrion is gonna be ok – warrior at heart, the ending to book 2 was heart wrenching.  I closed the book with disbelief, thinking, no, no, it’s can’t be.  Which is silly really, when I know what happens, lol. If you like fantasy and like real military style without too much descriptive blood & guts – then I suggest you check out this series:

Deed of Paksenarrion
1. The Sheepfarmer’s Daughter (1988)
2. Divided Allegiance (1988)
3. Oath of Gold (1988)

She has several series that I think are worth the time to read them – but will leave you to explore on your own – start with this series – it is the basis of several others.  In other words, start here & you will have the background knowledge for the others.

So, I dashed off to the library to pick up my reservation, thinking I was very deserving since I had been so good today, not procrastinating but following through on the plan 🙂  Standing in line, the guy at the counter in front of me, I thought, hmm, he looks kinda familiar – though it’s a bit hard to tell from behind.  Then I heard his voice and I was smiling.  When he turned around to leave I said “Hi Drew.”  With a surprised dawning he grabbed me for a hug.  Reservation was borrowed and we went off for a coffee.  It had been 5 years since we had seen each other and there was so much to catch up on.  We only had half an hour and so we exchanged contact details.  I laughed as I realised it’s not just a phone number anymore; there’s phone numbers, emails, and facebook – just to name the ‘essentials’.  Can’t wait to catch up with him, his wife and the kids, my word, I can’t imagine how much they have grown in 5 years.  Well, actually I have some idea – as of course, he had photos on his smart phone to share.

Now back at home to make Chicken Pizzaiola for dinner.  Feeling pretty darn happy.  Let’s see how well I deal with the morning when it comes tomorrow though, hehe 😉

Here I am, Sunday evening already.  I should be thinking about what to make for dinner, but instead, I procrastinate and sit here typing away.  I did the grocery shopping, what more can people honestly ask of me?!  I even went armed with a shopping list and only deviated ever so slightly.  So the week’s dinners and lunches are planned & we even have what is needed to carry out the plans.

I have always been one of those super organised people that usually pisses every one else off, as they stand in awe of my skills to muster an army of people into action at a moments notice.  It is not that easy to do.  And it is not a natural ability – it has taken years of dedication and training to get here.  I have been through the fire of life and the way I kept my world from falling apart was to make sure that I had all plans and options covered.  No matter the event, no matter the myriad of options – I did enough research and planning that no matter what happened, I could handle it.  It is what kept me alive and sane for so long.

In the last couple of years I have had major life changing events occur and the survival skill of organisation and planning to the max has not been so necessary to my survival.  I’ve learned what it is like to be able to relax, check things almost, kind of last minute.  And in the last few months, I’ve even discovered procrastination.  I don’t want to do xyz right now…. what can I do to divert my attention….

As you saw, last week I am soon to return to the world of paid work.  I was so freakin’ excited.  I still am. But I also have had a taste of reality.  I no longer own a car – so that means public transport.  We have a rather decent bus and train system here in the lovely Brisbane (QLD, Australia).  But, I was curiously looking up the journey planner online today and discovered it will take aprrox 1hr and 10mins to get to work every day – taking 2 buses.  And then, of course, the same to get home.  There is walking to the first bus, the mad dash from the 1st to the 2nd as they are on different platforms; and then there is the walk from the bus stop to my work. Not so bad really, right…?

Well, I used to be a runner.  It was my stress relief.  My sanity keeper, a partner to my organisation.  Broken bones & a one huge collection of hairline fractures caused me to reassess the fact that I can no longer run – so I walk…ed.  A part of those life changing events – the levels of stress I was dealing with are no longer there.  And then, I learned procrastination and I guess somewhat, laziness.  I was looking at how far I had to walk, 1km to the 1st bus, then 350m from 1 to 2, and then another 1km from the 2nd bus to work.  GASP! I’m not at a fitness level to deal with that – I’ve been sitting on my butt reading and gaming for months! A 10 min walk is enough to get my heart rate up these days.

SO! I have 3 weeks to do all the things I should have been doing in the last couple of months.  Getting a bunch of paperwork sorted out. Going to the dentist, the doctor and of course, keeping some semblance of fitness.  Top of my list – no more sleep-ins.  I am going to have to train my body (again) that it needs to be up early.  And my plan is to go for a walk.  Then come home and tackle one thing each day on my list of things that need to be dealt with before I start full time work again and have no time to do so.  Then, well, then I can laze around and enjoy my last days of bliss.  Of course, I must make sure I get some writing in there too.  But I have been doing a lot of research of late – compiling info so I can build my characters, create my plot.  But I would still like to get some words on paper.

Tell me, do any of you suffer from procrastination?  My mother would rather clean the house than face marking papers, or creating curriculum (she’s a teacher).  She once sat and weeded the entire front lawn by digging out every individual weed, rather than write her assessment.

Well, that’s procrastination enough – I guess I should make some dinner.

in my more fit days: stopping to check the map whilst hiking up on Mt Tamborine (QLD, Aust).